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Unraveling “Habitation”

“Habitation” is a poem, written by Margaret Atwood, that I included in my previous post. (Please refer to “Wedding Anniversary” in the list of  Recent Posts.) Here we will attempt to unravel its meaning in order to better appreciate it.

In the poem, Atwood tries to define marriage by starting with what it is not about.  When she says it is not a house or a tent, she is deviating from the usual romantic notion.  Most young and starry-eyed people think of it as a refuge where they can get all warm and cozy.  Some think of it as an escape from whatever problems they face.  But the author sets readers straight right from the beginning — NO, IT IS NOT A REFUGE!

Marriage , in her view, is still in a primitive stage.  It has not reached that level of sophistication where it can be considered as a habitation or a shelter from the storm, which is why , in the third line, she says, “it is before that, and colder”.

It doesn’t keep you safe in a cocoon, but puts you out there to deal with the elements.  Sometimes it can be pleasant,  like being in your favorite  outdoor spot - “the unpainted stairs at the back where we squat outside, eating popcorn.”  Usually, however, it can make you feel as if you’ve got one foot in the grave.  It is akin to being: “at the edge of the forest”, where you might get lost or devoured by wild animals; “at the edge of the desert”, where you run the risk of dehydration and snake bites; “at the edge of a receding glacier”, where you might be buried alive by an avalanche of ice.

In short, when you are married,  you face many dangers. You risk your peace of mind, sanity, and sometimes your life.  It is a battle for survival.  And after so many years and so many scars, you look back and realize that (OH, MY GOD!) you’re still just  ”learning to make fire”, the very first and basic survival skill.

Sigh!!! An overwhelming thought, isn’t it?  You think you’ve done so much when actually you’ve only just begun.