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A Few Sanity-saving Tips for Housewives

November 22nd, 2008. Published under health. 7 Comments.

She must be on Prozac. What you think?

Fuming that my  decrepit turtle of a son had chosen this night of all nights not to do his homework early, I sat at the farthest pew to cool off and wait  for his church program practice to finish. It’s going to be a long night again. Some Filipina moms, whose children were also in the program, were already there. They were exchanging tales of domestic woes.  I turned to the one nearest me, her name was Gina,  and flashed her an understanding smile. Unappreciated housewife.  That was her drama.

People whose work does not earn them wads of cash are not as important as those who bring in a regular paycheck.  I was visiting my alma matter’s site last week and learned that they were accepting nominations for “Most Outstanding Alumni”.  They specified that the nominee must have done significant work in the fields of: engineering, science, business, education, arts, etc.  After reading it, I sighed.  It looked like I didn’t have a chance there.  I wanted to nominate myself, but they don’t consider the work of a homemaker as an essential contribution to society.  How sad!   Saddest of all is when the people closest to you make you feel like you are living the sweet life because you’re staying at home.  My heart goes out to Gina and others like her.

I’m afraid that such has always been the case for all housewives. I don’t think it will ever change. The sooner you learn to accept this universal truth, the sooner you’ll figure out ways to deal with it and acquire a cheerier disposition in life.

Following this train of thought, I decided to make a list of my own Housewife Sanity-saving Tips:

Come up with a mantra that suits you, an oft repeated word or slogan that can comfort or lift you up. Don’t wait for your husband to make you feel better.  That will never happen. Men have a poor EQ(emotional quotient). So take care of yourself and your spirit.  When I am in my “oppressed martyr mood”, I say to myself:”Huwag mong tipirin ang sarili mo.” (Don’t be stingy with yourself.)  And if I have some money, I’d get out of the house and shop.  Somehow  my mantra never fails me.  An older and wiser woman explained to me some years ago that if you are not generous with yourself, you’ll end up a bitter wife.

The candy shelf that supplies my stash

Stash some  decadent dark chocolates behind the bottles and jars of condiments in the kitchen or in any place where your husband and kids would never care to look . Don’t share. Eating them should be a private comforting ritual for you. These bonbons should be kept as sacred as the church’s communion wafer.  The more sophisticated and pricey they are, the better.  You deserve it. Pop them in your mouth when you’re tired after hours of housework.  Reward  and indulge yourself, but don’t finish the whole box. You wouldn’t want your weight to go up the roof and create more drama for you. We all know how chocolates make the body release endorphins, chemicals in the body that bring about a sense of well-being.  They  also contain serotonin, an anti-depressant. When I consume my  daily dose of pleasure drug,  my mouth always breaks into a wide sphinx-like smile.  My kids would ask, “What’s that?”.  My smile widens all the more and I’d answer mysteriously, “Nothing.”  No amount of whining and tugging at my shirt could burst my happy bubble. They can’t get to me.

My frivolous collection of Momiji Dolls. Aren’t they cute?

Get yourself something that’s totally off the budget.  Doesn’t have to be expensive. You buy it just because you want to.  It doesn’t have to serve a purpose. Don’t buy cookware, for goodness sake! I remember my aunt who had a big fight with her husband. Angry, she decided to go shopping and waste her husband’s hard-earned money. She was disappointed when she came home because all she got was a toilet brush and some Scotch Brite scouring pads. Even in her moment of rebellion she still couldn’t treat herself like a queen. Get something that makes you smile.  Something absolutely  frivolous that could make your husband shake his head. This is the application of my mantra, “huwag mong tipirin ang sarili mo.”

A vision board is simply a collage

Try to have a vision board. I haven’t done this yet, but I think that it is a good sanity-saving  endeavour. It is a  just a cardboard where you paste pictures of what you want for yourself.  You hang it where you can see it all the time and be reminded of your goals in life. The belief is that, being constantly bombarded by these visions, you will act on them and be able to fulfill them.  The board will make you feel that you have a bright future ahead and that your life is going somewhere.  You’re not just stuck within the four walls of your home, waging a never-ending battle with your self-esteem that refuses to stay up there where you want it to be.

I know these tips are not much, but they have helped me with my own housewife dramas(except for the last one which I haven’t tried out yet). Feel free to add you own. The more the merrier.

7 Comments

Steve  on November 23rd, 2008

Ms. Chiqui, if paid, salary.com has calculated that the national annual median pay in the United States for a typical stay-at-home mom who’s taking care of two preteen kids is $116,805. However, I don’t believe you can put a monetary value on the satisfaction that you would feel knowing that you have raised fine, happy, and healthy children.

chiq  on November 23rd, 2008

How nice, but unless the money is in the bag, the recognition that housewives want for their work will never be real. You know how money makes the world go round.

donditiples  on December 6th, 2008

You’re a domestic engineer, for crying out loud! Go nominate yourself. Just remember, without you, everything at home falls apart.

Wish I could afford to be a housewife.

rikki  on December 10th, 2008

HAHAHAHAHA. ka funny. hit gid ni nga entry a. gina sturyahan ini nga entry kanday tess and nayna. pirmi down imo site so subong ko lang nabasa.

…and she goes running for the shelter of the mother’s little helper….rolling stones song na no? nakanta ta sang una? te theme song mo na subong. patukari bala si athena rolling stones…

chocolates..well, at least indi shabu. hahahah.

ang second best daw na belgian chocolate hambal sang belgian na na-isturrya ko is Godiva. Then the third Leonidas ( te may ari na di sa manila) ang best daw, wala ko pa gid nabati-an “neuhaus”. we went to a shop, mahal mahal. hoya na lang. hehe.

chiqui  on December 10th, 2008

Huo man gani. two weeks down ang site ko. Indo ko kabalo kung ngaa.

I don’t remember that song. Dumduman ko lang ang moonriver nga gina kanta naton nga nangakig si daddy kay we were not doing it justice.

Huo, Don. I will do as you say. I-update ta lang ka sang results. Ma-irita naman ini si Prof. Amy Daquilanea-Tanoy(in charge of alumni affairs) sang akon mga antics.

daks  on January 6th, 2009

Hahaha Heeheee Hoho…That’s my girl.. Tama yang ginagawa mo anak. I’m glad you really know how to take care of yourself. And your family as well. I know that too.
‘Am as always observing you from a distance and you’re okey Baby. Dadating din ang araw, I mean, the sun, the real bright, shining rays that gets into your face but you’re basking in it and loving it anyway and contentment is all yours.
Those who labor and wait will be amply rewarded. Good luck.

chiqui  on January 6th, 2009

thanks. you’re too generous, mami.

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