Covetousness
“Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s goods.”, boomed Sister Pura’s voice in my head while I was standing in a parking lot, contemplating a grove of banana trees. Sister Pura was my second grade religion teacher, summoned unnecessarily by my conscience from the bottom of my morality cache. There was really no need for me to be reminded of the ten commandments! I was just admiring banana trees, for goodness’ sake!
There are lots of banana fruits being sold in LA, but this was only the second time I had seen banana trees. Just like the first ones I saw, these were planted for ornamental purposes. They attempt but fail to beautify a drab parking lot on the corner of First and Union Streets. I just felt I had to stop by and examine them closely. Look at the ramay (dried banana leaf) hanging down. Do you see the bunch of fruits waiting to ripen? They look like sab-a. It’s just like what we had back in Dumangas. It’s perfect for utan nga ubad (vegetable dish that uses the tender inner portion of the banana trunk). It’s been two years since I had ubad with monggo or kadyos, chicken, and tanglad (lemongrass). I really wish I could make that dish here, but there’s no ubad even in Filipino stores.
So there I was standing in an empty parking lot before a grove of bananas, salivating at the memory of an Ilonggo dish. I was hoping to meet the person in charge of the place and ask if I could chop down one small plant. If plan A doesn’t work, I was also scoping out the area to assess the possibility of chopping down a small plant without permission and still manage to escape undetected. No such luck. There was nobody there except me so plan A was a no go. Plan B had to be scrapped, too. My moral guardian was on red alert.
I must confess that my brief stop at that place was not motivated by pure intentions. I just wanted ubad that I can cook with chicken, monggo, and tanglad. What’s so bad about a simple desire like that? There’s really no need for my conscience to get all high and mighty and slap me with the tenth commandment.
I might as well plant my own banana!
Oh, Ms. Chiqui, it gave me great relief to learn that you decided not to enter the wide gate and the broad road “that leads to destruction” (Matthew 7:13). In order to deter you from entertaining any future thoughts of committing petty theft (defined under California Penal Code section 666 as the unlawful taking of someone else’s property with the intent of depriving aforesaid owner of said property permanently and the value of aforementioned property is between $50 and $400), please be advised that a first offense is punishable by a fine of up to $400 or by imprisonment in the LA County jail for up to 6 months, or both. A first conviction of petty theft is usually charged as a misdemeanor. I believe Winona Ryder received the same charge when she did some shoplifting several years ago. A second conviction of petty theft is considered a felony and carries a maximum sentence of 16 months in state prison. Plant your own banana tree (is it a tree or a shrub?). I googled it and you can order one for $14.95 (however, the seller was based in Florida; so, you may have to find one that’s in CA). Btw, thanks for your laudatory words! It’s nice to know someone appreciates what I’m doing.
my gosh! daw kinulbaan man ko steve ba.
HAHAHAHA. wattalafff gid ni ya. daw kasubo gid sang l.a. tan-awon kung from a standpoint sang tao na gusto magkaon ubad nga may tanglad ba! tambo na may kasag and saluyot, gusto mo?
kawata a..
sang una may dwarf banana tree man ako na tanum. hatag ni lola haydee. ngalan nya “the most beautiful banana tree”. i think it was because of the name ginhatag ko sa iya na pirmi siya gapamunga.
Gaga, rik. Daw kanami man nga na entertain ka sang akon nga post, pero sa pagkamatuod I wasn’t aiming to make people laugh when I wrote it. It was a real dilemma. Gusto ko mangawat ubad. In fact ang saging to nga part sang landscaping sang isa ka apartment sa West Hollywood dugay ko na gina tan-aw tan-aw. I can’t bring myself nga mag tapas so gin encourage ko si Tito Ramon nga tapson. Daw wala gid a.