Hello, old friend!

February 10th, 2012. Published under Uncategorized. 5 Comments.

“You’re still alive?”, I gasped . I was rummaging among the shelves of used books at the Disabled Veterans Thrift Store when I spotted it. Barely visible in between a fat bestselling thriller and a harbound “Anna Karenina” by Leo Tolstoy was a book written by Anne Mather. I pulled it out, gently turned the pages, and read some lines to reacquaint myself with an old forgotten friend. I felt a twinge of guilt. “It’s been so long. I’ve missed you”, I murmured with fondness. Anne Mather, whose real name is Mildred Grieveson, is one of the most prolific writers of  Mills and Boon Romances. Seeing her book after so many years opened a floodgate of dormant memories:

• me – curled up in my grandmother’s rattan sofa, devouring juicy love stories until the wee hours of the morning
• my grandmother and reading buddy – setting down a tall stack of pocketbooks on the table for my consideration, then proceeding to discuss the merits of each one
• Ferdie – my grandmother’s nephew, who made weekly trips to the Iloilo City Public Library to get us our romance fix
• my grandmother – handling out a green five peso bill to her nephew to thank him for the favor
• the mezzanine floor of the Iloilo City Public Library – where I used to hang out, unmindful of the musty smell of old books mixed with the foul odor of a nearby restroom. It had an entire wall devoted to an impressive collection of well-thumbed Mills & Boon, Harlequin, Silhouette, and Barbara Cartland romance paperbacks.
• me – going to school lightheaded from lack of sleep. I would have had better grades in chemistry and trigonometry if I hadn’t been such a romance junkie.
• my father – snatching a book from my hands, flinging it across the room, yelling “trash!”
• my Comparative Literature professor – tossing her head haughtily and in her cattiest voice exclaiming “Romance novels! Hmmph!”

It’s been more than two decades since I outgrew this genre! My grandmother is in her late nineties, her mind no longer as sharp as when she was a sociology professor at the Central Philippine University.  She lives far, far away, across the pacific. Maybe she doesn’t remember me anymore. I wonder if I will ever see her again. Ferdie, her nephew, whose brain was damaged by an accident, has taken to wandering the streets of Iloilo City after his mother died and his sisters abandoned him. The old city hall building that used to house the Iloilo City Public Library is gone. In its place is a snazzier structure. After his stroke, my father now moves like a frail old man. I doubt if he still has the strength to be flinging things around. My literature professor has been retired for a long time. I was glad to be rid of her snooty academic standards.

Funny how a single word, like a key, can release images and emotions long tucked away. Sudden as a flash flood, they rush at you, overwhelm you, and leave you with a heavy feeling in your heart. Anne Mather, I never knew you had that kind of power over me.